A golf joke that’s true

I’ll leave the names out to protect the not-so-innocent, but I know a true golf story that, if you ask me, trumps all the lame golf jokes I’ve heard throughout the years. “Hit the ball, drag Jack,” comes to mind.
If you don’t know that one, I’m not going to tell it here. Or maybe I will. We’ll see.
The true one involves a couple of my friends and the golf term “fore.”
Even non-golfers, of which I am a prime example, known that “fore” is yelled by a golfer who hits an errant shot. It’s supposed to alert bystanders or fellow golfers up ahead about an incoming ball that you’d prefer not to have bounce of your noggin.
Well, a couple of my friends were golfing and one hit a wild tee shot and immediately shouted “fore” to alert the guys out on the fairway.
When he did, his golfing partner and friend asked, “I always wondered, why do golfers yell 4? Why don’t the yell some other number?”
“It’s not the number 4,” my friend informed him, “it’s the word ‘fore.’ I think it stands for ‘Fall, or Roll Elsewhere.'”
“Really?” the other guy said. “No wonder no one moves when I yell it.”
Let that sink in for a minute.
He was yelling the wrong four, the number not the word.
I’m not sure about the Fall or Roll Elsewhere thing, by the way. Internet searches on the word usually indicate it comes from the nautical “fore” as in “up ahead,” opposed to “aft,” meaning “behind.” Who knows? Websites also say it originated in the 1880s, which I find pretty amazing.
So, you really want to hear the one about Jack, do you?
All right. It goes like this.
A guy goes golfing first thing Saturday morning and doesn’t come back home for 8 hours.
“What kept you so long?” asks his wife.
“What a day,” the guy says. “We started out and Jack had a heart attack and died on the first green. And for the next 17 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Jack.”
I told you the true one was funnier.

Ed Ackerman