Here we go again

I know they’re watching me.
You may think I’m paranoid but I’ve seen them. I see them every day.
They watch me leave my house in the morning. And they watch me come home at night.
They observe me retrieving the newspaper from the front porch about 6 a.m. and collecting the mail from the box around 4.
Sometimes they tippy-toe on the sidewalk behind me thinking I don’t know, but I hear them.
Occasionally they will gather nonchalantly near the door of the car acting like they’re invisible, but I see them.
And if I should awaken during the night I hear them milling around outside.
One of these days they will make their move. Of that I am certain.
Not all at once, though. They never do that. Instead, their onslaught will come in waves, stretched out over several days or even weeks.
Exact dates are unpredictable, but make their move they will, no doubt about that.
And when they do, I will be ready, just as I always am, armed with a rake, a pair of garden gloves and a few dozen of those big paper bags from Lowe’s or Price Chopper.
It won’t be easy but I will prevail. I always do.
Predictably a group will hide under the hedge along one side of the house, but I will get them too. Unless, of course, there’s an early snow. Then they might be safe. At least until spring when I will gather them up under the shade of their newly sprouted brethren.

Ed Ackerman