This explains everything

Rachael was into the Zodiac. I mean, really into the Zodiac.
I did not know this until she approached me about a month into a fall semester more than 15 years ago and asked me what is my sign.
“Scorpio,” I said.
“Impossible!” she squealed. “Nothing about you says Scorpio.”
“Nevertheless,” I answered.
She was beside herself.
“I have to run your chart,” she demanded.
Luckily my mother was still alive because Rachael needed to know the precise time of my birth. After a few days she came back with an answer.
“I’ve got it,” she said with much delight. “You have a Sagittarius moon.”
A Sagittarius moon that apparently overrode my Scorpio tendencies to be jealous, obsessive, suspicious, manipulative and unyielding, and mellowed out my desire to seek revenge.
It seemed, according to Rachael’s chart, I was a pretty poor excuse for a Scorpio.
Now, none of that matters.
Thanks to an announcement by NASA, it turns out I’m a Libra.
In case you have not heard, NASA discovered (if that’s the correct word) a new astrological sign, a 13th constellation. So now, if you were born between Nov. 29 and Dec. 17, you are an Ophiuchus (oaf-eee-you-kus.) Part of this used to be Sagittarius territory. Sagittarians are supposed to be intellectual, philosophical and generous. The Ophiuchus is rebellious, trustworthy, prone to longevity, and a passionate lover. So you Sagittarians may have lucked out.
Here’s the new Libra me: romantic, tactful, charming, and diplomatic.
I left out the negative traits.
I texted this news to my son to let him know the change in me and that he is no longer a Libra but a Virgo.
He was dramatically underwhelmed.
“So,” he wrote back, “a fake thing is now a new fake thing?”
Typical Virgo. They’re so sensible.

Ed Ackerman