The greatest invention

Three fellas are talking, the old joke begins. The topic is the best invention of all time.
Gotta be the automobile, one says. It defined the American lifestyle.
The lightbulb, another argues. It turned night into day.
The thermos bottle, the third proclaims.
The thermos bottle? the other two say simultaneously. All that does is keep hot things hot and cold things cold.
Yes, the friend answers. But how does it know?
That joke comes to mind every autumn as I dust off my rakes and await the falling of leaves from the two giant trees in my front yard. I must say I face this raking season with more than a bit of trepidation. According to my Pittston City yard waste calendar, the last day for leaf pick-up is Nov. 19. According to the looks of my trees, I may not have a single leaf to rake before then. They’re all still up there. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I am raking leaves on Christmas eve.
But whether it’s next week or next month, when I do get out to rake I will be marveling at what I consider the greatest invention of all time: paper leaf bags that stand up by themselves.
If you ever struggled with plastic leaf bags you know what I’m talking about. These new things have changed my life.
So, whoever you are, you stand-up leaf bag inventor, I raise a glass, usually a cold Oktoberfest, to you every autumn. You da man.

Ed Ackerman