Et tu, Kevin?

A magazine arrived the other day with Kevin Costner on the cover. “Cool,” I thought. Until I realized it was AARP Magazine.
First of all, if it were up to me we wouldn’t get AARP Magazine. I have never signed up to be a member of the American Association of Retired People. But my wife has.
Costner on the cover underscores why I don’t want to find this blasted publication in my mailbox. I don’t need to be reminded who is a senior citizen. As bad as it is to admit I’m getting old, it’s somehow worse to grasp that others are too. In this case, misery does not love company.
“Wasn’t Costner just in ‘Dances with Wolves’?” I said to myself as I tossed the magazine where my wife would see it but I would not.
Sure he was. In 1990.
I just googled that. He was in “Field of Dreams” in 1989.
He was so young then. And so was I. Even at 40.
The greatest shock of my life is how fast 40 became 70.
Costner on AARP Magazine is just another of many painful reminders swirling around these days.
I give you Joe Namath hawking a Medicare supplement on TV.
And Tom Selleck trying to talk me into a reverse mortgage.
C’mon, guys.
You don’t see Mick Jagger at 77 pushing adult diapers.

Ed Ackerman